This is almost a year old and I just realized that I never posted it. When I reread it, I understood why. It was so personal and was so close to me that I felt it was an over share. After a while I thought, what's more beautiful than raw emotion? I was in a really crazy space when I wrote it and I'm so glad I got my head right. Not everyone is worthy of your love. Don't convince yourself that you need and want something. If it's real, you won't have to.  

It's crazy how much is revealed with time. How much things change. How life becomes so rearranged.

Oddly enough, not too much time has gone by. Not too much has transpired for our love to go awry.

What happened? Why us? If only I could turn back the hands... Never mind, shit isn't possible so no point in even going that route. We can switch paths. It's allowed.

But only if we're going together. As long as it's both of us facing this ever-changing weather.

That's the only way. As I lay here reminiscing, I can't help but wonder.. What has stolen our sunshine & replaced it with dark clouds and thunder.

The rumble is discouraging. I don't like it. I knew that it wasn't going to be easy but it wasn't supposed to be this hard. I knew it would take some dedication and work. We knew this. Maybe we should've prepared a little better.

Do we stay? Do we walk away? Revisit it at a later date? We can't let outside influences determine our fate.

October 16 meant something to me.

It meant something to us.

You told me you loved me.

I know I didn't say it back right away but I knew you'd soon earn that. I knew you'd make me the happiest woman alive. When I said I had already met the person id be marrying, I felt exactly that. There was no denying that feeling. That feeling is still alive.

The excitement I get when I see your name. The butterflies I get when I smell your cologne. The blushing that occurs when I reread your messages. The smile I display when I think of us.

Each waking day, each sleepless night, it's your love that I long for. It's your kissing. It's your touch. Am I expecting too much?

Where has the passion gone? There's no way these feelings can be wrong.

How do we fix it? How do we make it right? I'm not ready to just turn out our relationship light.

The flame still burns. As low as it may be, it's there. Waiting for us to pick up where we left off. No need for the dramatic explosives and fireworks, I just want us to work.

If you love me & I love you, let rise above it all. Take my hand & my heart. Walk with me. Together we can find this happy place.

We've been there before. Now it's time to find a different road there. Change is good. Take a moment and trust.

Step out of this comfort zone so we can build a comfortable home.

Together.

Lets collectively give more than we take. Let's make the needed changes so the rest of our forever can be great.