Million Dollar Question

Why haven’t I finished my book? I haven’t finished my book because I fell out of love with it. I fell out of love with the process. There was a time where I would eat, sleep and live for finishing my book. As of late, I barely want to open the file. Most days, I don’t open it. I find other projects to consume my time. Other projects get my time and energy. I’ve been working so hard to protect and preserve my positive vibes that I've lost interest in things and lost contact with people. I’ve also gained a new understanding of being number one on my list. It was hard making moves solely for me being that I’ve always been so generous with my time and energy. I’d leave and continuously forget to lock the door and close the gate behind me. I put too much effort into the learning curve and not enough into actually learning a lesson. There’s only a matter of time before you fall back into the same habits. You fall for the Okie Doke. Procrastinating got the best of me. I didn’t need a reason to, I just did it. I constantly let people and things distract me from the bigger picture. I no longer had my eyes on the prize. I lost grasp of what was important to me. My writing was important. Writing IS important.

When I severed some of my ties, my writing suffered. Anything that I started to write became annoying. It was no longer fun. I was rarely up to the challenge. I stopped reading. I lost my zone.  I had to find a way to let writing be the bridge between my old relationships and those that I had recently begun to form. Despite the bullshit, I still had a lot to say. I slowly found new motivation. I opened my senses. I welcomed new ideas and writing styles. I started feeling like I’m back. I AM back. I vowed never to let another steal my peace. Each and every situation will be motivation. If this meant that I'd have to write about the same topic five times until I like what it says, so be it. I say that mainly because I’ve gone through about four rough drafts of THIS piece before  I was even remotely pleased with it. Point being, keep writing. This shit doesn’t stop. Writing any and everything forces you to come up with words. These words form sentences. Before you know it, you’ve filled a whole page. It may not be something that you wish to post or share but it’s a part of the process. Respect The Process. Finish what you start or close out that chapter and start something new. Challenge your mind. Test your writing style. Expand your thinking. These ideas mean something.

So again, why haven’t I finished my book? Simply put, I’m only getting better. Greatness takes time.