It's Not Me, It's You

It's not me, it's you. 
It was you who decided to open the door and invite me inside of your everyday life. 
It was you who chose me as someone you could confide in. Someone to shield you from outsiders and let your emotions reside in. 
It was you who felt the need to take down the barrier, inviting me to climb your fence knowing that there’s a chance you’d let me fall. 
You did. 
Somehow, you forgot to include some significant details when you met me. Some days I wonder why you won't just forget me. Each time that I try to move on, it’s like you don’t want to let me. 
The body language between us is stronger than any of the words that we can't speak. Every touch, every stroke, every encounter is unique. In a sense, it made us weak. 
Our logic and ability to reason were compromised in the process. We loved it to damn near hating it. It shunted our progress. 
We’ve turned this into something like a 12-step program, admitting is our first step. As I move towards step 2, I see your face or get a text. 
Now, it’s back to step 1. I look in the mirror and see parts of you in the reflection of myself. It’s turned into a lost cause. You can’t get sober if you are opposed to getting help. 
Another love-drunk night with angry calls and screaming. There’s no denying that we are both the reason. 
From the looks of it, you can’t let go of me just as I can’t let go of you. It’d be easier to just say that we’re through but that’s not what our kind of “lovers” do. 
Somehow, we've found our happy place. No more late night calls or drunk texts, just “hello” & “take care” when we’re standing face to face. 
It’s working. Still, every once in a while, I feel the old “us” lurking. 
It’s hiding in the shadows of each corner that I turn. I’ve seen this happen before. Next comes the crash and then the burn. 
We can’t afford to start another fire after just getting this one under control. Sometimes the heat is so comforting, but you use a different side of your brain when you’re outside in the cold. 
I see Step 2 in the distance. The closer I get to it, the more I feel the resistance. 
This time around, I’m stronger. The games we’ve played have conditioned me to hold on to my cards much longer. 
I’m persistent. Staying away isn’t the problem. It’s learning to coexist and understand how our relationship is different. 
There’s no doubt that I miss you and still care but let’s be together from afar... Me over here and you over there.